I think that owning her responsibility in our current rupture, is whats actually allowing me to move forward. I think what held me up was her explaining away or being defensive about what she did/didn't do.

However, I think "fail" is too big a word for mistakes. To me, failure is abandonment, abuse, exploitation, malice, etc. L used the words "fail" last night and it actually hurt to think that she thinks she failed me. She didn't. She let me down, didn't attune to me, was too logical and not enough emotional to create a rapport, etc. She did some things wrong, but she is not all to blame either. I did things wrong too. As L would say, it's a dance. And we each need to take ownership for our parts.

She didn't "fail" me. She was human and made a mistake.