So I had been leaning in this hypermanic mode - sleep has been terrible and I just seem figidity and restless, not really eating, having trouble focusing and being a bit rambly... nothing extreme by any means.
I thought it best to reach out to my pdoc and she said that she wasnt sure my sticking with her was best that she couldnt see me until next week and ideally I should have a check-in. She thinks I need someone that has more availability to see me more frequently while adjustments are made to my medications...
It brought my mood entirely down. I searched for over hour looking at psychiatrist after psychiatrist trying to find one with appointments, near public transportation and that took my insurance. I was striking out and panicked. My pdoc, for whatever reason, made me feel the most comfortable i've felt with a mental health specialist. I really want to stick with her. She wrote me back again that we should still meet next week and discuss further.
I did some sudoku puzzles which really seem to calm me down, help me focus and bring me back.
I tried some sleep meditation but it still didnt work. This morning I feel calmer and a bit more normal. I have my therapist tonight so my anxiety is a bit high. But I'm hoping I can talk some things out with my therapist and discuss if i should really continue the search for a new pdoc...

I hope everyone has a happy hump day