Things have been kind of rough today. I woke up lightheaded and dizzy. I got a lemonade and an avocado toast from Dunkin Donuts thinking the sugar and carbs would help. But it didn’t. I took my blood pressure and it was a bit high so I took a Xanax. That helped with my anxiety. But I had therapy today and I felt like she was being a bit weird. Like kinda judging me. She said I was giving a lot more eye contact with her and my body language with her was a lot better then it had been before. My mom says it was a compliment but the way she was complimenting me by demonstrating how I talked and was sitting before, just made it seem like she was making fun of me. Even though that was probably not her intention. I had my giant binder/bandage thing on and I was self conscious. I got out of there and realized I had barely eaten all day and it was later in the afternoon. So I got some pasta which I’m not too hungry for. I took some Advil and I’m lying in bed with my blankets and my pillows. My surgeon still hasn’t video chatted me yet and I’m starting to get a bit concerned since my mom will be at a wedding all weekend and honestly I think I’ll feel a ton better both mentally and physically when I can take my bandage off.

But today I just feel weird, mostly mentally, and I felt this way before and after therapy. So I’m not sure my therapist is the direct cause of things. Although she didn’t really make things any better.