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Alive99
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Member Since: Dec 2020
Location: Hungary
Posts: 505
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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 02:07 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
It's a common assumption. Especially if they're telling each other "I love you," having sex, and it (a committed monogamous relationship) is what one side wants. She does seem to be giving mixed messages - saying "I love you," saying "I want to be single," etc. But yeah not everyone has the same idea when it comes to dating. Some people are not serious right away, some people are. Honestly, I can't tell from the OP's post if she is a liar or if she is just confused or not communicating properly or what. That's why I suggest being direct in communication.

I've had to deal with people who did mixed signals like that (whether romantic relationship or not). My conclusion from all my experiences with that is that with serious matters it's not an excuse that someone is just confused or not communicating properly. Since it still has serious consequences, that is, it can be quite damaging nonetheless, unfortunately.

And at the age of 29, people should really be able to be mature enough to communicate such basics, anyway. I agree, being direct with communication about these things is absolutely needed.

But yeah, technically we can't tell if she's doing all of this intentionally (liar) or not intentionally (being all over the place). But that's not even what matters, because the consequences can be bad in both cases.

Again, sure, it is possible that this woman likes to fantasise too much and has er, lax/fuzzy boundaries with guys, and not think of consequences and is all over the place, but she's most likely also self-absorbed in this case, not having considered the guy's feelings and how she would be affecting his feelings if she continues behaving like this.

Bottom line: she displays dishonest behaviour, whether in a considered way or not, and probably self-absorbed too. At best, very, very immature and not ready for a serious relationship.
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