Besides, the luckiest autistics have a lot of fun in life and most of them don't enjoy it all that much. That's how I see it. It makes you feel worthless when people make fun of your mannerisms, your speech, and your moods. I've gotten to the point I don't give a damn. I'm serious. Some people get so damn lucky that they're not living with this curse. laughs. I always felt I wanted to someone to take out this nasty gene that causes all the trouble and make me more positive and social. laughs.