Thank you, @MickeyCheeky, I am not currently able to move but I dream about it. Another city maybe, but I doubt that would change anything. Moving to another country is problematic now but I hope this situation with disease will resolve soon so we can all live our lives. I don't know if environment is the problem though, I hope it is, because then I can move. But if I am the problem then I don't know how to solve it anymore.
Thanks @Uykulu, I will try Chat.

To add, I tied a lot, I visited a lot of neuropsychiatrists, therapists, psychologists, I went to meditations and tried mindfullness, and I have been on antidepressants and still on anti-anxiety meds, and I had lots of interests and hobbies and crafts and so far I am still alone and lonely and feel unworthy because I have no friends. Am I a bad person because I have no friends and no one likes me?