So Sorry for your mother and that you're both going through this! Please do not give up your Hope! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that it does seem like he may need Help as well. Perhaps some individual therapy for you both may prove to be Beneficial. Since you seem to have many doubts about it i think at least a break, temporary or not may be useful to both? i can understand how hard that may be but since you've been feeling this way for four years based on what you wrote it seems like you may need some time by yourself to reflect on what you truly want. This is just my opinion of course and i can't know what you truly wish/need better than you do at least. Perhaps take that into consideration at least. i'd suggest couple counseling again as Well although it does seem based on what you wrote that you have already tried that one. Please do keep us updated if you can and want to. Stay Safe. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @blubbbrabbel, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!