Dear @Deilla, I know you're hurting terribly. Maybe you're trying to do too much lately?, appointments, chores, etc.? And you expect too much from yourself? Whatever it is, you have a lot of talent, & from my point of view, are one of the best people on our planet. And the pandemic is just too much. But up ahead are better days. Meanwhile, we have these forums & friends here. Hugs & love to you, dear friend!!