I have been struggling with some disordered behaviours for 3.5 years but it's something I don't usually disclose to the people around me.
My parents have noticed that I haven't been doing great the past couple of months, so I told that as much as I deemed necessary. Meaning they know I'm struggling with extreme perfectionism which is making me feel depressed and that I'm seeing a therapist because of it.
What my parents don't know that is that I've been making myself throw up for years. It's not technically an eating disorder, psychiatrist classified it as impulse control disorder. Whenever I get stressed out, feel unhappy with myself or get upset, I throw up.
I don't technically want to tell anyone but sometimes I think maybe I should because I'm so tired of hiding. Everyone thinks I am this confident person with the perfect life, yet here I am, making myself throw up on purpose because I don't know how else to express my feelings.
I've been on medication for a short while now and it seems to be helping but literally every time I think I might be over it I end up purging again shortly afterwards.
It's a far bigger part of my life than it should be. And what's worrying me the most is that I think it's the kind of thing that completely changes the way you view someone. Like if I told my parents or friends they would view me in a completely different light and things would never be the same again.
Am I exaggerating? If someone you cared about and who you thought was mentally healthy and happy would confess something like this to you - how would you react?