I think actions are more important than words, too, but what he said about his ex gf’s intelligence stood out to me - it seems like a subtle put down on his part, to compare you to his exes like that (and maybe even an invitation to make you “dance harder” for his approval). That’s how I read it, anyway, I can accept if I’m off the mark. But comparisons, rather than acceptance of who you are, generally aren’t good.
Sorry you’re going through this, anyway. Your plan to just keep busy is good.