I'm so tired. I need not only hope to go on but an actual solution. I need to try and describe my issue clearly.
I have had this issue in the last 3.5 years (depression, cPTSD, whatever).
I try to keep working (remote work, part time in theory), but I don't have enough support or help or something is missing because it means I literally have zero time or energy for nothing else.
I wanted to do training, or just have fun, or anything, but I can't because if the work task needs more than a couple of hours, I end up staying up all night, not being able to work, I just feel stress, pressure, overload, crisis, eventually bad emotions, everything, then maybe by morning I'm able to start and then I work during the next day without any sleep until I finish it.
That completely messes up my days until I recover. By the time I recover, I have to do the next "too big" work task like this. So I don't have time to do training, or to do anything else, 90% of the days. It has started to wear my health down too.
It's been like this for 3.5 years.
I keep missing deadlines anyway. That's been a problem before.
I have had so enough of it. Sometimes I have good days but then the bad days come back anyway. Too many of them are like this upside down mess. And I'm stuck in there, I am not seeing a way out of it without external help.
I hate how I have NO life and I am concerned about my health.
Any suggestions please?