I have a few life-long friends - people that I've literally known since infancy and we've kept in touch our entire lives (we're in our late 50s now). When we were younger, living in the same town, going to the same school or church, we were VERY close. We spent a great deal of time together. We understood each other. We were in each other's weddings, threw each other baby showers, etc. As adults, we no longer live in close proximity, so our friendship is different. We don't actually physically see each other very much anymore, but the love is still there. We do keep track of each other consistently through Facebook, etc., and these were among the first people to personally reach out to me in these last few months when my husband was dying. Even though we aren't "buddy buddy" anymore - as in spending a great deal of time together - I have NO doubt how much they love me, and the feeling is mutual. There is a dedication to the relationship as an ongoing, life connection that makes them true friends - almost family really. When I interact with them, it is sort of like coming home.

I have friends now who are in closer proximity and I physically see these newer friends more often simply because of our mutual activities. I like these people and they are also very supportive, but honestly, I feel a different connection to them, even though I see them more often, than I do to those life-long friends. I have a large support system now, and I find different people serve as friends in different ways, and that's okay. Not everyone has to be a "best" friend.

My work friends support me mostly professionally, but somewhat personally too because my career and my "self" are so interconnected. My church friends support me spiritually and personally in a way that sort of feeds my soul. My choir/chorus friends share an intimate connection in our love of music, an understanding of that art and talent that no other people in my life quite understand.

In other words, I have learned that not every person in my life has to function in the same way or for the same purpose. I can have a variety of friends in my life and find value in each of those relationships, even though they are all so very different.