I don't feel dependent on him for support now. But knowing it's not in the cards to have a relationship doesn't change that I want to see him. But I'm not doing any chasing any more. I never really did, we'd always agree on a time that suits him. I was ready to just let him go a few weeks ago, I brought him a small gift. It was my way of trying to deny that I want to keep seeing him. This might not be right, but I'm not using him, he's offered to help me figure out my finances, and I don't want to have to talk about money after dad died, but the reality is I have to figure out what to do with that when I get it. He owns property, he knows the ins and outs of things as he's said he runs his own company where he is retiring. I really don't think he has another woman, but his last gf died a year and half ago. I accidentally opened a jar of something that looks like bath salts and rubbed my hands in it. It was obviously womens stuff so I wondered why he had it. He said it was his dead gfs and I said smell it from my hand and he looked all emotional and said he hadn't smelled that in a long time. He loved her.

I think he was just trying to do a kindness for me but he also wanted sex. That's fine. But initiating texts will stop. If he doesn't ask to see me, I'll be fine. I really like him though. I'm getting older and it's hard right now with everything I'm going through, so having him make me laugh and talk for hours was really nice.

As for why I say most men tune a woman out, it's because I know once a relationship progresses they aren't really interested in hearing the same old stuff. If the fire burns too fast the sooner it burns out. I'm tired, I hope I made some sense. Thanks for the input from you all.