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pinksoil said:
every negative trait has its positive opposite. BPD people are intensely afraif of abandonment-- positive opposite of fear of abandonment? Deep caring. Self injury-- a destructive, yet creative form of self expression. It's positive opposite? Writing, drawing, creating. So I believe it is all intertwined but it becomes a disorder when it is pervasive and trancends through all aspects of one's life-- work, school, home, etc.

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Hi pinksoil,

um, to me it looks like you are mixing the positive and the negative into an unindistinguishable mixture. The positive does not need any opposites - it is positive in itself, I think. Being creative does not depend on being able to be destructive or self-damaging. Deep caring is possible without fear of being abandoned. A good and positive life can be lived without PDs. It is the same as with drugs, for example, which certainly also have "positive aspects" of intensifying everything. But at what costs...

I think there is more achievable than just getting used to the negative aspects of personality disorders by arranging oneself with them. Bad is bad, and will ever be - in my opinion there is no way around this, except beginning to deceive oneself over the real nature of things.

To me, connecting positive aspects to that what makes a personality style a disorder, is kind of giving up or giving in, of getting used to something one better should hold on seeking a way out of it. I think this is important. The aim is to come to the real thing, to live the best way, not secondbest.

Positive thinking can be very supporting, but only if there actually is some positive object to it. Thinking positively about negative things can have harmful consequences. Positive thinking should not be deceptive. And denial does not solve problems, they will still be problematic.

At least that is my opinion, and I regard this as important enough for a reply. Better say something than keeping quiet (blame my T for this *wink*)...

Take care,
bluna