Dear Azuloscuro I am sorry I didn't see this thread until today - thank you for reaching out, you definitely deserve support.

I agree with other posters, the pandemic and everything that came with it shouldn't be underestimated as contributing to how you feel.

I share your feelings, my social anxiety is mild to moderate but definitely worse after this last year. I was lucky, I was an essential worker so I worked throughout, I believe that saved me from the worst effects because I had social interaction with colleagues and customers.

However mixing in groups has always been difficult for me, I had been better with practice. But this last year I slipped back into a world of close family, a few close friends and colleagues only.

Last week I went to an outdoor exercise class and I felt so awkward and weird around people. I'm going again and I'm just going to have to accept I'll feel awkward and weird!

Please don't blame yourself. It's not us, ourselves, it's social anxiety. It's not who we are.