Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
It may have something to do with the friends you chose.
I had a best friend (one of several best friends over the course of my life), and the relationship eventually ended. I feel that I made a poor choice in her as a friend. What attracted me to her was her raucous sense of humor. But what went along with that eventually became many bad qualities in her. This was a lifelong friendship, so the transition was slow to the eventual end.
There are other friends that never ‘went bad’. I am still close with another lifelong friend. There are two others whom have lost touch. I don’t think it’s due to anything bad that ever happened or anything I or they did. We never had any friction, but we still lost touch. I feel bad that we lost touch. People change? I’m not sure why I stopped being in friendly contact with them. It feels to me like they chose to stop being in contact with me…but not really sure.
You asked about them being ‘true friendships’. Yes, they were all true friendships. But, this one I spoke about crossed the line of my boundaries time and again. She had no respect for me. She had no respect for anyone. I loved many things about her, but she was a bad choice.
Anyway, I think you may have chosen a friend who ended up being a bad one.
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Thanks, yes that makes sense. I don't really know who she even was, anymore. I have to figure that out again, who she really was.
She didn't just become manipulative (she wasn't for the first few years of the relationship or maybe I just didn't get close enough to her to experience the manipulativeness), but she took me and my feelings for granted, was completely dismissive of my emotions, even had contempt for my feelings and so on. Definitely no respect there YEAH.
I dunno about people changing. Dunno if she changed or if I just got closer to her and saw the bad then, or both, or what. Explanations like "people change" don't reassure me though because that idea just makes me feel like people are fundamentally not reliable.