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AzulOscuro · Jun 13, 2021, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alive99

Oh, that's cool that it's better now. Hope it stays that way. Maybe you getting support from the therapist helps, like maybe you are not looking for it with your husband instead?

When I'm able to call an emotion bull**** it disengages me actually. Because I know why it's bull****.

But I have to first know that, yeah.

Yeah, for me the problem is if it takes too long to figure out the emotion and it takes me long for sure when it comes to personal matters......And while I'm figuring it out it does get in the way and that's a problem. So for that, this idea of "this is just an emotion and it will pass" does not work for me because it does GET IN THE WAY while it's there, while it doesn't pass, it is several hours per day and it means I have to wait until the evening or even until the night before I'm able to work without the emotions being in the way.

This dilemma/issue I don't see answered by this idea "it's just an emotion and it will pass"

It's very practical consequences, missing deadlines and the like.

Yeah the whole "emotions will pass" idea is from the distress tolerance thingy in DBT.

My issue isn't distress tolerance though. It's these practical consequences.

And I was so disoriented before about what's even going on that I didn't realise for a million years until I finally did recently, that the DBT workbooks and similar books talk about being "uncomfortable".

Uncomfortable?! Man... it's not about that for me. If these emotions were just uncomfortable, I'd be FINE. Lol that just sounds like an everyday problem, uncomfortable feelings, emotions to endure. No big deal.

But the actually problematic emotions get in the way and are hard to move out of the way. Hard because if I try, without knowing why the emotion is even there, then it requires an insane amount of energy that I just don't have normally, it requires me to mobilise emergence resources and you are not supposed nor able to use those resources constantly...... You can imagine.

So that's my problem, not that they are "uncomfortable". Lol when is it even a problem that something is uncomfortable.

But trying to move emotion out of the way without knowing how to do that effectively, it's the problem. If you don't know how to do it effectively is when it's gonna require a crazy amount of energy. I am doing it right now as I am trying to work atm. It still makes my stomach muscles sore.

So emotional dysregulation from cPTSD isn't easy or fun, lol.

Yes I'm discovering slowly why the emotions are there, what they really are about, but that takes very long for me for these personal matters. .... But when I know these things is when I'm able to effectively manage / move the emotions out of the way like that

***

BTW. As for DBT.... I compared it to stoicism here: https://mysupportforums.org/7082825-post20.html

What do you think? Do you like any of that?

I like you mentioned stoicism because Stoic school of Philosophy was always the one I always felt more appealing for me. 😀

Said that, I understand what you say, an emotion is gonna pass by but what can we do with it. Sure it will come back. What I see as an opportunity is that once it passes by, you will have a time to see things in a more objective way. You will have the opportunity to see the whole picture and from this, make decisions with a colder head. Maybe not at the first attempt but future ones.

I haven’t done DBT, I want to make it
clear. Only an approach to Mindfulness with my last psychologist.