Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99
Thanks, yes that makes sense. I don't really know who she even was, anymore. I have to figure that out again, who she really was.
She didn't just become manipulative (she wasn't for the first few years of the relationship or maybe I just didn't get close enough to her to experience the manipulativeness), but she took me and my feelings for granted, was completely dismissive of my emotions, even had contempt for my feelings and so on. Definitely no respect there YEAH.
I dunno about people changing. Dunno if she changed or if I just got closer to her and saw the bad then, or both, or what. Explanations like "people change" don't reassure me though because that idea just makes me feel like people are fundamentally not reliable.
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‘People change’ is probably not accurate. One friend who stopped contact with me said that I reminded her of a time that she was not proud of her own behavior. I was not a part of that behavior. I think it was like a part of a 12 step program for her where they lose contact with anyone who was a part of their lives that contributed to addiction. I feel compassion for her if this was solely the case. With the other friend, I moved away and we both stopped making the effort to keep in touch. I also think it may have had something to do with my father dying, who maybe she felt like he was a father figure for her as she had no father.
Whenever I speak to old friends it seems like no one’s changed at all!
