Hi,

I have a pattern to something I do.

I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a husband and dad and am approaching middle age. I work with people a lot, and have a lot of successful professional relationships. I have people that have been in my life as friends for a long time.

My blood family really didn't look after me emotionally. I didn't realize until recently that I was not emotionally cared for. I went through family traumas and losses and no one ever talked or coached me through it. My blood family are good people but two things are true: they find excuses to be emotionally distant, and they never apologize.

This, I think, has left me emotionally immature. I seek immediate emotional validation and gratification from my wife and other people close to me. If I am slighted, I will speak up pretty quickly. I will point out the hurt and expect an apology. Honestly, my wife is similar in that she doesn't like to apologize. I end up acting like a petty fool, pointing out, and re-pointing out, and repointing out the slight or wrong, and expecting an apology.

The lack of validation makes me feel like I'm crazy. Then I end up saying "I'm not crazy!" Which really makes a person look crazy.

Right now I am posting this because I am trying to not confront my wife about something and this is my coping system for today.

Can anyone coach me on this one?

RDM