I have my 3 month (virtual) pdoc appointment tomorrow. After that, as I understand it, they'll be going back to in-person appointments. It scares the bejeebers out of me to think about sitting in their crowded waiting room for 15 or 20 minutes with a bunch of other patients who may or may not have been vaccinated.

I've had my two Covid-19 shots. But there's at least a small percentage of people who've been vaccinated who still contract the illness. And at my age I imagine I could still get pretty sick even having been vaccinated. Still, I don't know as I have any choice. And then also, since I don't (can't really) drive anymore, in-person appointments mean my wife will be driving me down into the city which she's not particularly comfortable with either. It saddens me she has to do this because of me.

I do what needs to be done every day. And, outwardly, I think I still present a more-or-less competent demeanor. But mentally I feel desperately anxious, ill, confused, and fearful. And I don't know how to describe it or what I could do about it even if I could muster the clear-headedness to try. (Plus the fact is it wouldn't even be possible to get into it within the 10 minutes or so I get with my pdoc.) I just want to go hide somewhere until it's over. Hopefully it won't be a long wait...