So Sorry that you're struggling. i agree with the wise and wonderful downandlonely that it may be due to physical pain. Perhaps that is also a factor in discouraging you to doing much. i'd suggest to talk to your therapist and/or Pdoc if you haven't already. Please do not give up. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Mountaindewed, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!