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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
This is to give you background on my issues—I have had the same issue going on for 25 years.  . This is the main issue with me, all other struggles I’ve had likely stem from this on-going one. It’s a bad marriage.  The trigger is about intimacy. This is the main, if not only, real trigger in our otherwise good relationship |
Ah. What is this intimacy trigger? Is he like cold and unresponsive to you? Or is this something entirely different?
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So, when I get triggered and have to let the emotion pass, it does pass until I am triggered yet again. At times, I suffered intense depression for days, then the emotion lifted on its own. At times now, I get triggered (trauma reaction), and I remove myself from the room and let it pass.
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I see, yeah, Ive been low for days too about things before but I don't want my life to be like that. That is exactly what I mean by, it passes too slowly, I lose too much time, it gets in the way too much, for too long. So the idea that it will pass doesn't help me whatsoever.
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I have not ended the marriage because I am torn as to how much of the problem stems from me having a disorder. One psychiatrist told me I ‘probably never would have been happy with anyone’. So, what the point of going it alone in life now? I’m scared. I’m lonely in it and lonely out of it. I can make better of my life in the relationship with or without him.
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I think that psychiatrist was horribly unprofessional. Unfortunately, those exist.
Tbh I really don't see how you having an emotional disorder matters when it comes to how you feel in the marriage.
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Honestly, IDK what will happen moving forward. We’ve been apart this week, on separate vacations, and maybe he’ll call it quits if I don’t first. I’m heartbroken it’s been so bad. It affected our kids. We’re all a bit messed up. It’s not all my fault nor his. It just sucks.
But, I digress… the intense emotions are temporary in those moments. Although they keep recurring, they do pass.
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Yeah it sounds like it sucks a lot. Really hope you'll be OK moving forward here.
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
@ Alive99 I just wanted to add this, which pertains to your thread about friendship, but didn’t want to derail yours and make it about me—
The two best friends from childhood— One, bff 4-6 grade, had actually kind of dumped me for a new friend she made and liked better. She didn’t exclude me from being with the her new better best friend  , but I was then the third wheel. I didn’t really like the girl, thought she was super immature and annoying. The other, bff age 2-college roommate, had friction with my college boyfriend, so she distanced from us. After that, we moved away and lost touch for years. I later learned she had slept with my high school bf and had a relationship (the extent IDK) with my college bf behind my back. I tried to reconnect with her when I was newly married, but she basically blew me off.
Now, in my own defense regarding me having an emotional disorder… I think I handled these rejections with much grace. I think I showed high emotional intelligence. Heck, it took me a while to even recall how these relationships truly ended just now!  |
Thank for the stories. Somehow it helps reading about these things. Maybe it gives me perspective.
PS: I haven't yet noticed your emotional disorder on here.