Quote:
Originally Posted by KLL85
So in my session last week my therapist said something that I found hugely hurtful and painful. He said I was attention seeking which is a huge trigger for me after previous harm caused by professionals for treatment for my mental health, which he is aware of. I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably for about 25 minutes. I was angry as he didn’t offer any support and then told me at the end of the session I just needed ‘not to dwell on it.’
I emailed him over the weekend expressing how hurt and angry I was and how painful I found the session. Although my email was blunt and pointed out where I thought he got it wrong, it was not rude. This is the first time I have ever really directly challenged him on something that has upset and definitely the first time I have told him I’m angry at him in what I thought was a productive manner. I stupidly thought in a way he would actually be a bit proud of the fact I was managing to express what I was feeling.
Today he has emailed me back terminating me. He essentially told me I was too much to cope with (but worded more professionally).
I was having my doubts about whether he was truly the right therapist for me, but I thought that me expressing what I was feeling would mean we would try to work through it. He knows about my rejection and abandonment issues which are pretty extreme and he has now proceeded to re-enact them by terminating so abruptly and suddenly.
I believe he has had a conversation with his supervisor about this decision as I didn’t get the email until the end of the day where as usually he always emails back first thing. So I think he sought her advice and then I wonder how much influence she has had on the decision.
|
I'm sorry you're going through this. He"s an *** for saying that to you, doubly an *** for telling you to not dwell on it, and triply an *** for not acknowledging what seems like a significant growth for you. Also a coward for abandoning you instead of facing his screw-up and for doing so in email. Also, is this actually ethical? I mean, clearly he wasn't a good therapist for you, but terminating like this, making it look like you are somehow the problem, when it's his competence and empathy that are lacking, without making sure you have a way forward, or at least a chance to get closure?
Quote:
I’m in shock right now and just utterly numb, although I can feel all of the pain, devastation, hurt and heartbreak bubbling under that numbness and don’t think I’m going to be able to cope with it when it finally hits me.
Yesterday was also the anniversary of my best friend’s death, something which I am yet to properly deal with and get over and something he absolutely knew about. But he still chose to terminate via email today.
I don’t know what to do, every time I ask for help i seems to end up getting more hurt.
I just don’t want to be alive anymore.
|
Yeah, I totally get that. I guess a deep attachment torn like this does that, even without being done in an actively harmful way like this was. I guess, in terms of parts work, the little ones don't understand the concept of an incompetent coward of a therapist, only the devastating abandonment by what they came to see as a parent. BUT, I do think you were brave to stand up for yourself, and your expectation of trying to work through this was entirely reasonable, and you did right by your child parts, even though the therapist's actual reaction understandably feels like the end of the world for them. I only wish I knew how to comfort them, but I hope you'll find the support you need!