Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99
Well I mean not like some traumatic or otherwise horrible ending to it, yeah.
Yes. The problem is it wasn't just one single major fallout. I put myself in harm's way for 4 long years. That's how long I supported her and was there for her and she was doing a lot of those toxic negative things. But I took the burden ok until I got cPTSD from some other sh** in life and then I no longer could.
|
I’m sorry it ended in trauma for you. I see why you need to heal from that.
Over 4 years, you saw the negative things adding up, then kaboom, the traumatic ending.
With my one friend who is now out of my life (It’s been 4 years), it was a build-up of negative interactions leading to the eventual end, too. It just took 40 years!
I am willing to put up with a whole lot. There were good times, it would build to her having negative, annoying behavior toward me, I would tell her I needed a break from her. We would start up again, the same pattern happened again. Finally, the negative, annoying behavior from her took over much greater than the good times. I could tell you stories you wouldn’t believe! Looking back, I have to question myself as to what attracted me to the good times in her so much I was willing to put up with the negative behavior. TBH, the good times weren’t healthy, either. That’s on me. I found her obnoxious, boisterous humor hilarious. I forgive myself for that seeing as we were young teens when we met. I was immature. But, as we aged, it wasn’t funny. She went beyond inappropriate behavior when in public. It was funny as a teen, but not as a middle-aged woman.
I grew up. She didn’t. She got worse.
But our friendship died with a whimper, not a traumatic ending. We simply stopped speaking. She said she ‘can’t walk on eggshells with me’. (As though I was exceptionally hypersensitive! In her case this was a ridiculous understatement because her behavior was immensely over the top.). I agreed, that was an honest statement. I could not tolerate her obnoxious behavior and being humiliated in public by her. So, we agreed it was best to end a lifelong friendship.
Did your friend do something outrageous to traumatize you? You mentioned taking advantage of you for money. You don’t have to say, if you feel it’s too personal. I’m just curious if they were totally unscrupulous and just being a user. Then that is not a friend.
This former friend of mine, began using me and our other friend for money and never paying it back toward the end, too. I stopped giving her any. This made her very mean and probably was the cause of her going off on me like she did at the end, which caused me to take the final break from her. She became very emotionally abusive. (Probably because she was mad I stopped letting her use me)