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Originally Posted by KLL85
Thank you for the replies. I’m massively struggling right now so support here is really helpful. I just don’t know how to process this and the pain is now coming through thick and fast and is just too much to bare. I’ve held back in therapy for so long for the fear of being ‘too much’ and the one time I really express my true emotions and feelings I am punished and told that I am actually too much.
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I'm really sorry... For me, it was over expressing love feelings rather than anger, but I had a similar reaction when my ex-marriage counselor told me that I needed to reduce contact after I said I loved him. He'd accepted any feelings I'd expressed before (even using those words), but suddenly it was too much. It felt like my love was poison, that he had to get away from it. (We couldn't repair the rupture and terminated a few months later.)
My current therapist has had some issues when I've challenged him/told him he'd upset me as well. Where he's basically fought back, and it got kind of ugly and painful. I terminated, then returned. At one point after my return, I was thinking about how smoothly things were going. Then I realized it was because I was holding everything in, like if he said/did something that bothered me, I was just pushing it away. Which isn't good either (and is similar to my general pattern in relationships of any kind). We did eventually talk about it.
Therapists need to be able to handle their clients' strong feelings and reactions (short of threatening violence, for example). If they have trouble handling them, they need to seek supervision or consultation. They certainly should not just abruptly terminate.
I hope you can find a new therapist who is able to handle such things and can help you process what happened here.