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Old May 14, 2008, 06:41 PM
certainsomething certainsomething is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Posts: 3
Wounded1 and Lenny, thank you so much for your insightful responses, I am truly appreciative of you taking the time to post !

I know she has the potential to look good if she loses weight, which she has been trying to do for the past 2 years, slowly but surely (she was heavier when we met). I also realize how men and women are taught in our society that "model like", thin girls, are a beauty standard. Although some models can be attractive, I'm NOT AT all into that type. I'm into the cute, not too thin, not overweight, nice, healthy looking, "natural pretty girl" look. She doesn't have to be a drop dead gorgeous beauty, I just want to feel myself notice her.

I've thought about both your suggestions and realized that I don't think I could just let her go, even temporarily, she's too important and I wouldn't want to lose such a great person. My girlfriend and I are both rather sensitive people, and I know that bringing this up, no matter how much tact is used, would hurt her deeply, which I can't bear. So I keep it inside, and it builds and ends up preoccupying me. That's why I'm here, hoping that I can speak about it and get various points of view.

Wounded1, I too have heard that sometimes fantasy is better than reality and that just because someone is attractive, it does not mean their give/take ratio is necessarily proportionate in bed. See, I always thought that I would date around and have a few relationships before settling down and getting married. I never envisioned, realistically, falling in love and potentially marrying my first love. I think men, especially, are conditioned to "get experience" and screw around, but does that really lead to happiness ? Or does it just make you more and more jaded after each relationship ?

I guess I'm realizing that weight is something that can be worked on. Maybe I should just find a way of using positive reinforcement to encourage her to lose weight ? I'm convinced that it would definitely improve my attraction to her.

I would love to keep this conversation going, so please feel free to share your thoughts (and that goes for anyone reading this).

Thanks again !