Hi all,

I’m in a bit of a bind. I’ve been what some may call a “serial dater” my whole life. I had minor OCD my whole life and it’s always made me over-analytical when choosing who I would go out with. I’d never been in a relationship longer than two months - at least nothing serious. I’ve always been very academically focused. Last year I met a woman online in a forum and we hit it off. Turned out we lived just a state away from each other. We didn’t have intentions of dating in the beginning but online talks led to phone calls which led to video dates and then several in-person visits. We’ve been dating for six months now and we visit each other regularly.

My problem is not so much in the long distance aspect but in the fact that I have no idea what I’m supposed to be feeling. In the beginning the infatuation was real. I was drawn to her mind but I also found her very beautiful. It was something I usually had to trade off in my dating experience - I could have beauty or I could have a strong mind. She was different. She was both.

We spent a lot of time with each other and progressed quickly. It seems we quickly got into each other’s problems and integrated into each other’s families. We never had any issues with communication - our arguments are resolved very quickly and efficiently. Our ethics and morals align, we have similar interests but different hobbies, so on paper it’s all pretty perfect.

This last two weeks I’ve felt like the romantic infatuation has left. I see her flaws, and I don’t want to leave her, but I feel more of a peace and comfort around her rather than a heart-racing passion. I feel almost as I do when I visit my sister - like a comfort, where I can let loose around her, and a deep care, but not a passion. When I hold her, I feel relaxed and comfortable, not sexual. Is this normal? Is it good? I’m still attracted to her but not passionate.

Having never gotten this serious with someone before I am really curious if it is normal. Do I need to change things up to try to bring this passion back or is it good for the future of us?

Thank you!