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all in all I would say I have no right to call her my girlfriend...I'm not sure I'm even stable enough to have a real relationship?
Also, I know a lot of advice will start with - or consist entirely of - telling me that alcohol is the problem. I agree it is a significant problem for me, but I also want to know at a basic level about this situation and incident if you have that feedback.
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If you are not a couple, then you are not a couple.
I don't think you can expect her to act like she is connected with you when you question whether you are worthy and capable of having a connection.
I think you can make progress on who you are and what you can do--and not just regarding her--when you get serious about addressing alcohol.