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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
I was talking in a general sense. Only wanted to express you my comprehension in the sense that sometimes even when we know a person a lot, people may show reactions we don’t expect according to what we have known about this person so far.
*Want to make clear that when I talk about a person is in a general sense (I’m including myself in this group).
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Hm, with family I don't feel this way, except for my brother maybe. With my mother, my sister I don't feel that I would get stuff from them that I don't expect. Well my sister did pull off a thing once that I didn't expect but she made up for it really quickly. So she didn't really go "out of bounds" on the whole. My brother went more "out of bounds" under that stress thingy (perhaps that was the reason for it), but he was able to go back too to his normal/default.
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You asked me a question and I’m gonna reply what I do think. The more you know yourself, the most possibilities you have to know and being open to know another person. This is my personal opinion, though.
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I like that, that makes a lot of sense. My experience confirms your thoughts here.
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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
My psychologist recommend me this book years ago. Indeed, I have just picked it up from my library.
I’m giving it a quick check now to refresh a little. My last note was at page 207 so I guess I quitted it there. If I remember well, l left it because the proposed exercises were more complicated that the single techniques I learnt to practise mindfulness. And I didn’t want to be more focussed on whether I was doing correctly the exercises than the aim of the exercise themselves, when I already have chosen the technique I found that suited better with me.
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I'm curious, what techniques were those? If you can quote a little from page 207 I can identify that part in the ebook I got (it does not have page numbers).
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Said that, this therapy is part and based on the same principles of that so called Third Generation therapies that it’s to first be aware of thoughts and emotions that appears in our minds, accept them, not fighting against them in order not to feed them.
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I was reading a CBT book today. It was talking about
: your thoughts will make you have feelings and then you will act on those emotions. I think mindfulness/DBT works the same way. And CBT, DBT, all that, they say that you gotta catch the automatic negative thoughts - that are emotional thoughts really - and not identify with them, or with the emotions either.
But I just feel like I'm wired the other way around.
I have feelings (hiding somewhere, god knows where) and then I have thoughts - indirectly - motivated by them and then I act based on the thoughts. I identify with those thoughts, I don't identify with or I don't fully identify with the emotions (I am a 3rd party/observer to them usually, when I do actually see, perceive and feel the emotions).
And it feels like the emotional thoughts run in their own separate thread that's usually blocked out. But ofcourse they are too blocked out anyway since cPTSD, it's not normal for me
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What happen with this? Which are the benefits? With practise, you learn to give these thoughts and emotions a relative relevance ( as a product of our over-protector brain) so once you get this, you are freer to go ahead with your life without having to carry a heavy burden. Your brain won’t ever be the same again. It will be working little by little as an alley. Not so over-protector. More objective and attentive to what’s really happening around you. It’s immense the plasticity of the brain.
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I like the way you explain stuff.
I don't think I ever would've understood this before my cPTSD though. I read up on a lot of psychology and related stuff and so I learned to make theories about emotions afterwards to try and make sense out of them.... Then as I got more in touch with the actual feelings, I realised the theories were arbitrary. Lol it was a BIG relief
So anyway...what I liked in your description was you talking about
1)
"With practise, you learn to give these thoughts and emotions a relative relevance ( as a product of our over-protector brain) so once you get this, you are freer to go ahead with your life without having to carry a heavy burden." - This is my old self before cPTSD. I want to be back to my old self.
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"being objective and attentive to what’s really happening around you" - This is again my old self before cPTSD. Yes I so I want to be back to my old self.
And your description gave me a perspective for a short second....I could kinda see what it must be like, when someone is starting from this pov. For me cPTSD made me a bit like it too but it's still not really "me".
I don't know if that made sense.