Thank you. Yes that was exactly like that.


The sad thing in my case was that I didn't even feel I needed a break. I just wanted to fix things with her. And I was never annoyed by her behaviours. Or anything like that. But I'm not truly annoyed by a lot in people anyway. I'm pretty "zen" in that sense.



I'm still trying to figure that out myself lol. I.e what attracted me to the good times so much



What did she do in public?



Yes and that was so strange to me because I thought the first few years of the friendship was good, nothing like that. Then she somehow got this user side coming out, yeah. And yes, an outrageous thing eventually..... She tried to hurt me as deep as possible through the attachment she always saw I had to her. Truly as deep as possible. The anger that she had that led her to try and do so was extreme. I've never seen her have extreme anger like that before. I truly just don't understand how that's possible. Like she became... Hyde, right?

Where do those things come from in a person ????

I bet I sound naive with this question but.......



Yeah. This sounds familiar.

But I don't understand where her extreme anger came from. I basically told her I'm done with the relationship, as she blurted out something so I understood she really did try to use me (I already suspected that but she was good at hiding it). So I told her (in a text) that she's been "caught in the red", so I'm done, and told her to only seek me out if her old self is back (if I ever actually knew her?), or if she's in a crisis, like, suicidal, she can contact me for immediate help.


Before that farewell text, I also wrote an angry email about how I see now that she was using me. She wrote some toxic emails in response. Having read those emails, it was too much and I let her know I was not going to read more emails from her (and I never responded to any more emails after that, yeah).

Then I sent the farewell text. (No response to that from her or maybe in some toxic email, I cannot remember anymore)


But then a couple of days passed and I felt sad and wanted to share the sadness with her lol I don't know why, I just liked the old good (?) times, but then I realised I couldn't trust her and couldn't share how I felt. So instead I just texted her that I really so was not okay with how she caused me pain but it still shared emotion unfortunately (emotion other than anger, unfortunately... i.e. pain. Don't ask why I shared like that. I did also say she should be ashamed for her behaviour).

And then she displayed the extreme anger in return. I don't know, was it because she was mad that she can't use me anymore? I found it interesting, where you said that your friend tried to use you for money and got mad and very mean and emotionally abusive when you stopped giving her any money.

She really did try and deny that there was anything wrong in our relationship, she really tried hard to keep the relationship, and tried extremely hard to keep it on HER OWN TERMS.

And when I was no longer game for that is when she became completely mean like I never saw her before and extremely toxic plus that extreme anger.

Another thing. I had a friend in middle school. Well, idk if a friend. I would hang out with her a lot and she was fun but I could not take her/the friendship truly seriously on a level. Let's just say we had some mismatches so I couldn't. She wasn't very intelligent either. Etc. But she was really fun and stuff, and we kept in contact a bit here and there after middle school ended. Then much later, we were in our mid-twenties, she contacted me again, this time for money...... not a lot of money but she had a horrible attitude to it, to handling money, and to paying back loans. Lol. I was okay with parting with some of my money for good, I knew it was a risk. I would hang out with her a little again and it was totally fun again. She even got clingy at one point, sorta,.... she didn't just want to meet because of the money at that point - or she hid that well but I don't think she just wanted the money really. I completely forgot how clingy she got temporarily. I just accidentally found an old text not long ago where she expressed the clinginess. Like she really wanted to meet me and was upset that we didn't meet on a particular day or something.

Anyway I am saying all this because the friendship pretty much ended with her a few months later.... She kept asking for money (not just from me. Her mother also kept asking people for money. Long story, it was horrible. In a nutshell... They sold their house when her father was still alive. Father died soon. Mother never tried to find a job for real afterwards, her daughter, i.e my friend was going to college and didn't really earn a living either. They tried to live beyond their means even after they were pretty much running out of the money they had from the sale of the house. So they got used to begging for money from everyone they could ask.....). That was okay by me, really as long as it wasn't a horribly big amount. What wasn't okay was the attitude, they didn't apologise (neither she, nor her mother!!) when they failed to pay me back on time. Then I started feeling like she only sought me out if she wanted money. No longer clingy Iguess...? Dunno if she was too preoccupied with the lack of money, or she plain just didn't care anymore. Either way, I forgot that she used to want to spend time with me without the money stuff too. It just seemed like she always sought me out ONLY when she needed the money. I could see it easily, she was a bit manipulative but too transparent with it, I always saw through it (OK, as a young teen, I didn't, but I wasn't a teen anymore). And then, eventually, it was something like Christmas. She wanted some money for Christmas too...okay. I was annoyed by then (ha ha, ok, sometimes I can be annoyed too), by the attitude and everything. So I said ok I can give this little amount, she and her mother both came over to the condo building where I lived, I went downstairs to meet them, I did give her/them the little money. Then they proceeded to ask me for more. They wanted to go back home by taxi or something, I think. There was public transport available, or even if not (I don't remember how late it was in the evening), it was a 20-minute walk back to their rented apartment. I did not want to give them extra money for the taxi or whatever they wanted it for. They went on trying to pressure me like horrible, I don't even remember what they said or did, but it was so horrible like never, so I just almost literally ran back into the building in the end when it just felt TOO MUCH. Toxic. Yeah I hadn't seen her like that before it either! We've never talked since then. Maybe she sent an email much later asking me for help for some college exam (she'd send those emails sometimes lol). I didn't respond to that (I never responded to any such emails anyway) and then she must have finished college or left college as there were no more emails ever again.

But yeah the way she and her mother - but especially she, she was better at emotional manipulation than her mother - turned so toxic suddenly.... Weird.

(And yes, I know, it's sad too, that they let themselves get that low. Begging for money like that. Instead of mother getting a job again. Well if it had just been begging... but it was some toxic thing they were doing that Christmas.)


And now comes the real point. If you read this far.....so yeah, I always had this feeling that this "best friend" was a "glorified edition" of this other girl. Much more intelligent, but ofcourse also way more refined with manipulation. Money issues for her too. Huh. I don't know what that means. I just really don't know who she was anymore.

If you (or anyone else) got any thoughts, I am always interested.