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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
^He sits with me in front of the tv while he is also on his iphone. Life is soooooo dull!
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Oh no, typical guy stuff.
Sorry I'm not trying to minimise the issue. I've just seen enough guys doing that too around me LOL
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^It’s about physical intimacy. I thought all was fine in the beginning, then issues started, and we never worked them out. Having looked back on my life prior to him (met at age 26), I had some issues with other guys, but just thought they weren’t for me and that was normal…now, I’m not so sure.
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I think that's also probably not something "wrong" with you. Often there can be these issues. There are some counsellors specialised in this too.
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^I had trauma since young childhood; a verbally abusive mother, a MI father who died. When I tell this to a therapist, I instantly get the ‘attachment issue’ diagnosis. I had strange friendships that were not necessarily unhealthy, just that I am attracted to them. I had boyfriends before marriage that were also strange, not entirely bad…just not so good for me. Again, I’ve been attracted to that and one must wonder why. So, I get thrown into the ‘difficult interpersonal relationships’ diagnosis because I have/do have them. My mother is likely someone with a disorder but wouldn’t hear of anyone criticizing her in any way. She, my husband, and some of my family members I call ‘empathy challenged’.
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Sorry, what is "MI"?
I frankly think not a lot of relationships are that quality/truly close. (Maybe I said this before in my thread on it lol) I think that's understandable really, it's hard to do really good relationships. It takes a lot more psychoeducation. It's not taught in school!!
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^I felt she was a real B. What a horrible, unhelpful, callous thing for a therapist to say! Did she want me to feel hopeless? It stuck under my skin because I am very sensitive and I give credence to her expert opinion.
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I can only agree about how sh** that is. I think what I can suggest here is to reflect on how she's not actually right, and become firm in seeing it, and have true clarity about it. And then it is eventually going to just sound like some absurd bull****. Which is what it is anyway
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I just need to make myself happy. I am diligently working on my attitude to help myself grow and be more well-rounded as a person. I tend to be too dependent on others (also a trait of a disorder).
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Maybe drop the idea of "this is a disorder", "that's dysfunctional", "that's from trauma".... I mean technically maybe it's true, but maybe it doesn't matter at all? I've thought about this recently, how there are few people who are 100% healthy and fit, and everything, and not simply not ill/sick, but truly healthy and fit with vitality. It requires maintenance, exercise, good diet, etc etc. Same for our psychological well-being. A lot of people have psychological issues, maybe not outright "sick", but not really fit either or have vitality all that much. So why would you be worse off than all those people. It really doesn't matter then. So then maybe just focus on the well-being and doing what you need to to get there, instead of endless self-criticism, like "this is ALSO a trait of a disorder".
My point is: You don't need to "correct" yourself. You just want to feel better, do things that are to your benefit, to be happy.
I hope you'll get there.
