I set up an emergency appointment tomorrow. I kind of want to go to the hospital. But mental health hospitals scare me so badly because out of the 22 hospitalizations I’ve had only about 5 of them were decent and where I wasn’t bullied or physically attacked by both staff and patients. And now I am at risk for harassment and assault and even possible murder just by my leaving house to go to the store. I can’t imagine what a psych hospital would do to me now.