I used to feel reasonably ok talking about suicidal ideation with my T, but since her diagnosis it's become really difficult. Knowing how much she loves life and wants to live, and there I am wanting to tell her how much I want to die. It's not right is it, I can't do it.
On the surface she'd probably say she was ok with it, but I worry about how she really feels inside.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea starting again with her after all.