So Sorry you're struggling! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about finding distractions and asking for Help if necessary, There is no shame in admitting we need Help so don't hesitate to contact an Hospital if necessary. Contact Friends and Family as well if that is possible. Try to keep yourself Safe and your mind busy too. You deserve to Live like everyone else does. i Apologize i am late and if this post isn't really helpful either. Hope you're feeling a bit better. Keep us updated if possible. Try to do your best. Hugs. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @MatBell, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHA THAPPENS, OK?!