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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
How did she show herself to be hateful?
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(On different occasions in the last 1.5 years of the "relationship". I'm listing these in order of the time they happened. Translation as it was not in English originally)
- She texted me, "I would thank you if you stopped doing this, the lack of the sound system is my smallest issue now, I'll write to you when it'll be the biggest problem, until then leave me alone with this" ("This" = me offering to bring the sound system over to her place. She left that stuff with me months before.) ---- This one wasn't hateful yet but it was the first time she openly treated me in a way like....Like I don't even know. Like I was just a complete nuisance to her and she wanted me to stop existing
- She said she "hated talking". Like, the word for it used was the strongest word, hate, loathe, all that.
- She said in a text, "throw it in" through the fence when I brought her a gift to make her feel better after the previous conflict (where she said she hated talking), and for her to have something before her hard exam
- She said in another text, "don't expect that I'll talk with you at the bus stop" when we had to meet to help her sort out some errand for her inheritance proceedings. (Weirdly enough, she did end up talking to me for about 45 minutes while I was uncomfortable and was on alert trying to speak up about leaving ASAP because I remembered this request of hers, but then I didn't say anything about leaving because she seemed to like talking, mostly about her own stuff and problems for 45 minutes LOL.)
- She, casually but in a very calculating way, said in online chat, that if I talk to this guy who also stood to inherit from the guy that killed himself and left her 40% of his property (she exploited that guy too btw), then she won't be friends with me
- She said in email to leave her alone with the topic or "you'll push me away
even more", when I asked why we aren't talking anymore, asking if she had a problem, and she said no she has no problem and said that we "always chat", and then I said we haven't talked/chatted in a long time
(I italicised "even more". She never said anything like that before it)
- She eventually said in a text in extreme anger the thing that was just....too much. All the above was too much of course, but that one was truly extreme. Where she tried to really hurt me as much as humanly possible
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Some people who say they love me and do act like they do have also acted hatefully. I’ve dealt with this all my life. Their motivation was I did not do what they wanted! I don’t know or think this is typical or healthy behavior. But it happens to me.
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Yeah. I think that was her motivation too LOL.
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I call my friendship with the one I discussed here a real “true” friendship even though she did eventually become a user (not a true friend) and flamed out on me in anger and that’s how it ended.
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You mean before she changed for the worse, you two were true friends, yeah?
I don't really view the friendship with her that I had with her before as a true one, I finally changed my evaluation on it recently
PS: though she claimed several years ago that I'm a best friend of hers and that I am her last best friend (chronologically), the others had been best friends in school in the past, she kept in touch with them for a while after school and then no longer. And yeah maybe I was her best friend then, but I don't think it was a quality relationship.... It was very nice for me, so I viewed her as my best friend (I'd never had anyone in my life before her that I would call a best friend) but I realised it was missing certain things in it anyway