You don't need to go back if you don't feel it's right. Therapy is not mandatory and it's not always the right solution.

Three years ago, I had a therapist who refused to see me again after I got upset that he wouldn't hug me. Like you, I felt like I was, after a year, handing over really big feelings, feelings I had no clue what to do with, and then I was rejected and abandoned for being 'too much'.

It hurt like hell. It took me two years to fully process it. I decided not to see anyone else in that time -- I asked myself if I could honestly deal with the same thing happening again, and the answer was no. You know what you can handle, and it's OK to listen to your body. Listen to those instincts. I think our instincts can be off or maladaptive, but they do exist to protect us. If they're not currently in a safe place where they can be examined, reassessed, and rebuilt, then I honestly think it's better to wait.

Three years later, I think I could probably see another therapist, but I really have no interest. I think it has the potential for exceptional personal growth, but I would need to be exceptionally vulnerable, and the risks that come with that don't appeal. I can work on myself in other ways.
You can too, if you want.

And your old therapist is a jerk.