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Judgment by the person who I asked "too much" from?
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No, exercising good judgment as to what is "too much" and what isn't. What might be "too much" for one person might be completely fine with another person.
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But it's kinda a general idea too to me because people would need to state pretty explicitly what is within in their skills.
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Well I sort of think that a lot of the
nonprofessional help that one might need are really for the most part within people's skill sets. Practical, day-to-day stuff. But maybe for example someone is impatient and not a good listener, you know? That sort of concern.
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I am not clear on the note on crisis though. What is different from this when it's a crisis?
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Not everybody wants to be involved in a crisis, and not everybody is calm and nonjudgmental in a crisis...
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Over what timeframe does it need to be equal? In a day, in a week, in a month, in the whole relationship overall?
How about when it is about family? Parents?
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As to time frame well not in a short period of time like a day, week, month.
But now that you have brought this up I am thinking about it a little differently. (Thanks!) Now what I am thinking is that in each relationship there is a "normal". Normally perhaps we are overall givers to some and receivers from others. I think what I am getting at is that a request for help shouldn't be too far away from whatever "normal" is for that specific relationship. So maybe someone normally supports you and is okay with that, but if you asking for help for the fifth time in a week maybe that will get beyond their limits?
Including parents.
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I noticed my mother has a er, propensity to first say "no" automatically.
Or to start up thinking aloud about what obstacles are in the way. Her mind immediately goes to other people, such as her husband, my sister, anyone else.
What do you think about this?
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It sounds like she doesn't really want to be called upon for help, or is too busy, too stressed, etc.
