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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Yes, I think a friend relationship is less intimate than a committed romantic one. I keep more boundaries with friends, so I don’t overstep and lose the friendship. Friends like you because you have something in common, like to do things together, give each other moral support but not to the point of it becoming overbearing, friends don’t want to get too caught up in your drama, friends will be generous but do not want to feel taken advantage of like they are being used. There is a give and take with friendship- each much make effort to maintain the connection.
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Yes. This is what I did not understand back then, when she pulled me into that relationship too deep. I understood only later that with friendship, it's like, you want to protect the good feelings, the connection and that does require boundaries. ...On BOTH sides. That is what I did not understand. Because I protected the good feelings on my part, but I completely missed the idea about what it feels like receiving the same back. That is what I did not understand or know about at all.
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Romantic relationships go farther. This may be my own faulty thinking, where I am overstepping boundaries and becoming codependent. Maybe I shouldn’t think of them as much more than I do of platonic friends and we’d get along better. 
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And here too....I want to protect the good feelings in a romantic relationship too. I do think it must be harder once you are married (or just living together long-term). I don't think it's just you.
I read (part of, didn't finish it yet) this pretty good book on marriage....I don't remember if I mentioned it on here. The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real. It talks about boundaries and a lot more. Trust me I've looked through a lot of these books on marriage already but I liked this one the most so far because of the idea that a 21st century marriage is just not the same as before.
