Yeah, this is what my life became in a sense for a while. So I understand you.


I originally - years ago - just detached, detached so strongly I lost energy for some things and started having less and less of a life.

It was disengagement but too extreme.

Because I did not deal with the feelings, they just went away buried somewhere deep down


Anyway... once I stopped being so detached, it all came out. A mess.... Then I would be like, pulled down for days after each negative interaction with people. Even people I don't know much at all.

(This was already after cPTSD which didn't help either)

And yes, this idea of disengaging, this thread, and some talk on the emotional support chat on the chat of this forum helped, etc.



The idea I took up from all the talks on the chat and this forum thread was that I really just have to recognise fast enough that an interaction is too negative, not constructive, perhaps even toxic or heading towards toxic too much. Too much "bad drama" overall. If the interaction was to continue, it would just lead NOWHERE. Just looking at it like, not worth it. Keeping my person out of it with that.

And then upon the recognition of that, instantly stop engaging, not discuss/argue/engage with the person, and then you internally disengage too. You don't have to physically walk away if you are able to control it internally but that can be an option too yeah.


It truly did help. Now I'm not pulled down for days. Or not so strongly that I can't keep doing other stuff.... Like it may be there in the background until I fully processed it. Sometimes I can instantly process it even.

I haven't been completely freed from taking in the negative yet, but I have been able to process & push it away faster. Not getting pulled into the "bubble" of the thing.


The processing entails understanding what actually happened, with all the facts, a realistic enough assessment, not too biased towards too positive/hopeful or too negative/paranoid either.

And then I see how it doesn't say anything about me, whatever negative thing happened. Even the idea of that becomes absurd.

So it's easy to disengage from it at that point. A very objective view like I am viewing it as an outsider/3rd party from the outside.


I do sometimes also push back without going overboard with the anger, this is to avoid internalising too much of the negative. Again, not being too angry or too nice either. And that pushback is the line drawn in the sand. After that, the interaction does not continue. I.e. I walk away (physically or not but I disengage).

Yah I think it all requires practice and I am still practicing mself too. Lol, years of work!!