Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99
(Responding to the comment on not having been hurt so deep)
At age 18 I lost my emotions.
They are coming back but it's this mess. Like I described just now.
I don't even see part of the emotions well for now. I'm trying to look at it like, OK here's this picture of puzzles, each emotional thingy being a puzzle piece in it. And I can look at the whole picture and I can see some of the puzzle pieces are foggy, vague. And I can see other pieces are clear and I can feel them fully and as soon as I can feel it fully my rational brain is able to manage it, provided that I've read up on enough psychology to have the knowledge about what the emotion means.
I'm okay with some of the puzzles not being identified and being fuzzy. But since I'm doing all this without any real guidance outside myself, I have to pick up the pieces from everywhere myself, psychology books, articles online, psychology forums, talking with people on forums as well  .
The only thing I'm not okay with it is if the fuzzy pieces jump at me suddenly
It also helps if I can actually get an emotional thought that talks to me loud and clear, because then the emotional puzzle is instantly more clear too and not fuzzy anymore. And then I can work on it with the rational brain
The issue with family now has too many fuzzy pieces. Both of my emotions and of their emotions.
I didn't understand about the mind lying to you. Do you mean emotional (biased) thoughts? Or do you mean the mind generating theories about the emotions that don't really amount to more than "working hypotheses"?
I don't have a therapist right now. I ran from the last one after a couple of years because I was about to be retraumatised |
I meant about intrusive thoughts. I was referring to how we have kind of alert on our mind based on past memories (sometimes bad memories-that’s the problem-) and our mind works as a protector by generating messages that recall us of these bad experiences or based on the defence mechanisms create to avoid these bad experiences may happen again.
It’s curious. I also quitted therapy a couple of years ago. My psychiatrist always tells me that psychotherapy could help me a lot, much more than meds but I’m reluctant to go again.
Last time, I didn’t feel traumatised but I felt a big pressure and I couldn’t go faster. I had a depressed time and I progressed at the beginning but then, I felt I had to go to a different pace. And I felt pressure.