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That "best friend" asked me for help more than 5 times a week. There were many weeks like that. I never felt it was past my limits. But I think I did get too involved and allowed it to take from my life. But it's a long story....
So yeah, I don't think I understand the limits part. Not sure why not.
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I like what you said here:
I think I did get too involved and allowed it to take from my life.
That is what I am getting at. The other person, at some point, finds that to much is being asked of them, they don't want to devote that much of their life to being a helper.
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It's like... if I asked a family member once and they instantly said "no" then I instantly feel like there is absolutely no space, that the limits are immediate, or something like that?
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Right, it could be that.
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It....it feels like people are just not going to help at all. It feels like if I tried to ask again then they WILL hate me. Especially if an argument was going to start up on the issue. Then I feel like they WILL hate me, that they WILL think I'm too....too anything, I don't know. Like, rejecting who I really am.
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Right, you are describing when it is risky to ask, when you have those bad vibes from the other person. If the vibes you are getting are just the opposite of those, then it is less risky to ask.