thinking about thursday, and what will be said. I feel stuck in the usuall things. I feel that you dont care to hear that I started drinking or smoking cigs. (in a way cigs is eventually going to turn to self harm) but I really dont care to tell you. Is it my mood or is this really the same old stuck crap i go through in a big cycle. Seem to be still hung up on your move, still get very upset about it. 47 and i cant get my **** together ! Just a teenager all angry because you moved. I know it has reenacted a move of a best friend when I was 16. Still should not be still sobbing over it, to the point of getting a drink and smoking cigs. really?? so disappointed in myself. I feel like it wont matter to talk about it with you. its the same ****. I will continue to be in my stuck rut i guess. Wish i had a good close friend, and not only you. I think that I am so into my ways that maybe its time to call it quits. maybe you or really no one will beable to help me, right now thinking...maybe I dont want it anymore. I get frusterated with you when you ask me the same questions and I am so dissociated. whatever right??