Help.. is what I say... I am so scared... it is with me.. I think old fear - I do not understand...

I don't think I can continue to live like this..

I am all alone.... completely and totally alone..

Everywhere I look... I see my mom's face in the vent... the whosssees..... her terror... I can feel in the very pores of my skin... terror so strong.. that there are no words for it "speechless" terror...

I am alone... God.. wants me to be alone.. with no one to comfort me.. I do not understand why...punishment for the pedophile - I should have known better??? I was 12.. my mom was dying...there is no peace...

my son.. is moving out of state...

my best friend.. I am done with.. the friendship.. can no longer do this...