((earthmama))

I am sorry for your pain and the impending loss of a loved member of your family. I know exactly how you feel -- or at least I think I do. Sometimes in therapy now when I feel pain, cry or whatever and then it's as if it never happened. It's gone, zilch, zippo...back to my old habits. I even pretended it didn't hurt so much when my mother died.

I think we are using old childhood habits in our adult lives. We need to keep telling ourselves that its okay to feel these things now because we have the resources of a competent adult and we are not helpless children.

Also, it's okay for our children to see us upset, or crying. In fact, it's probably good for us to model our grief rather than hold it in so they will know it's okay to feel too.

Good luck.