It's hard. I know those feelings. My child part craves nurturing from L too.

L and I have talked about how hard it will be for me if she ever becomes a mother. Most would assume I would be jealous that she gets to be a parent (I have infertility issues). But really, the jealousy will be that the child gets to be mothered by her.

L provides me with all she can and in many ways it's enough. And sometimes it's just not. For the things that are not enough, she holds that space with me. She grieves with me and allows things to be without trying to fix it or make it all better.