Today was kind of tough. I'm sorry for my long vent.

I called my parents' home phone to wish my Dad a Happy Father's Day. I either call or visit on Father's Day every year-- they would have expected at least a phone call. All phone circuits weren't working for a long time. I started to get really worried, especially since there was a bad storm the night before. After no response from emails, trying other things, I drove to their house (30 min away). It's very hot, and I was afraid they had no power or a/c. Mom wasn't answering her cell either. (Dad doesn't have a cell phone).

When I got there, the power was out, and they were gone. They pulled up in the driveway 3 min later. I discovered they apparently had already told my sibling that lives several states away that they had no power (my parents' home phone goes out when power goes out, which means my mother used her cell to call my sibling). But Mom never bothered to call me. They just let me get worried and exasperated, forcing me to rush out there in a panic. By the time I figured out something was wrong and got there, they had gone over 24 hours with no a/c.

My mother pretended she forgot to call me. She may be a small small pinch forgetful, but she is bucket loads of manipulative, and has a history of trying to upset me/get a reaction out of me.

I was so frustrated and angry that I told both parents that it was clear they preferred my sibling to me, and that I felt very manipulated into rushing out there. I told them it would have only taken to 15 seconds for Mom to use her cell and say what happened/they were fine, etc. My mom just continued to protest that she was forgetful (not really, b/c she then told me in great detail where I keep my own spare keys in my own house).

So I looked at my Dad, and told him that I didn't want to treat Mom like a 5 year old, but if she is going to be that way and not responsible, that he needed to step up to the plate.

(My mother is controlling and manipulative, and for the last few years has prevented me from having more than about 2 minutes of conversation with Dad without her presence. So trying to find out what's going on has been impossible. I'd had enough of it today).

Also--I practically begged them to check into an air-conditioned hotel (I have no bed for them to stay at my home). They weren't interested. I was getting hot in their house and told them that since they are perfectly capable of driving to a hotel, and could afford a hotel room, I hoped they would be smart and get out. (Yes, they are fully vaccinated). I left their house feeling very upset.

I'm so hurt. They made it crystal clear by their actions that they prefer my sibling over me and didn't even extend the courtesy to me of letting me know what was going on. My Dad mumbled that they should have called me. That's probably regret, but as close to an apology as I'll get. Many hours later Dad called me to say their power was back on.

So, sounds like a happy ending in terms of their safety, which I'm glad about. But I feel betrayed and very hurt. I clearly cared more about them than they did about me. (I'm glad that they at least told me the a/c works now). I think this opened a deeper wound in me from not growing up with much empathy from my parents. I feel so guilty for being upset, but also a great deal of pain of not being important to them. I may need to face some of my own grief about my parents. It's difficult and painful.

Thank you for reading this really long post.