Thanks for posting this. We don't get many posts of this sort here on MSF. (We used to get a few more back when it was still Psych Central.) And I always enjoy replying to them.

I'm an old man now. But I have waged a life-long struggle with my gender identity. (I never transitioned... just suffered in silence.) I never considered myself a crossdresser although, growing up, I certainly did the things you talk about in your post and more. I was an only child and we lived in the country. So my mother's clothes were the only female things I had access to. (If I had had a sister, I suspect I'd have been into her things as well.)

My parents (who are now long-since deceased) never suspected anything that I know of. The whole idea that a boy could want to be a girl, or wear female clothing, is something that would not have even occurred to them way back then I don't believe. Plus, over the years, I became quite adept at being secretive. I can just imagine what my father would have said if he had ever found out: "Jesus Bud. (He liked to call me Bud.) What the hell's the matter with ya?"

You mentioned you have a wife who is 100% supportive. I envy you that. I'm married as well. And my wife is superficially aware of my gender identity issues since I outed myself in the process of mounting my second major suicide attempt several years ago now. However we have sort-of a don't ask / don't tell policy going on here since she doesn't really want to know anything about my gender identity issues and, knowing that, I'm uncomfortable bringing them up. So I just continue to keep it all to myself as I have mostly always done.

Best wishes...