Well... I guess every trans person's experience is different. So I can only speak for myself. But my personal perspective is that, at least it used to be the case, being transgender forced a person to become skilled at being secretive as well as aloof. Plus there's a lot of depression and anxiety that tends to go along with it as you no doubt realize. (Hopefully this is changing now with the new openness that is developing around issues related to gender identity.)

In my case, over the years, I have pushed everyone away except my wife. And I even keep her pretty-much at arm's length so to speak most of the time. (It's complicated.) I feel lonely a lot which I suppose is at least part of the reason I spend so much time here on MSF. But, at the same time, I feel an overwhelming need to keep myself as far away from people in general as possible in real life.

So I think I can understand what you wrote about both your sister as well as your friend. (I've often thought that, were it not for my wife, I would likely have become a homeless drunk.) Personally I doubt there's much you can do about either of the situations you describe other than to continue to be available should either of them reach out to you at some point. At least in my own case, the secretiveness and loneliness I feel has become so ingrained into my psyche that it's largely beyond my control at this point I believe. It has become who I am.

(I'm not sure where in Cleveland my parents were living when I was born. The name Parma sticks in my head. At the time my parents lived there (the late 1940's) the area they were in was a new development I guess which is why I was able to fall into the basement of a new home that was under construction.)