I just want to say I think given your situation how you feel (wanting to be back in a different time when you felt better) is completely normal, I think others feel it too, I know I have.

I wish I could say something more helpful. Do you have support of any kind now? Therapist? Doctor? It sounds like you're coping with a rough set of circumstances.

I think it's okay to be a little sad (as long as it's not overwhelming you) and look back, maybe at some treasured memories and momentos, maybe one day you'll feel less emotional as you move through this, but for now you're sad and that's okay.

Hugs.