I’m practicing exercises from the DBT Handbook. It is to not have negative judgments and to respond with “I feel” statements. It says ‘DBT is not to help you endure an abusive relationship. If you are in one, get out.’ But I am using these techniques to try to make the best of an incompatible relationship.

He triggers me to PTSD. I am being incredibly strong to have to be the bigger person and make the best of a bad situation. My situation is not that of a disordered person whose concerned family has to try to get along with them and I need to learn skills to maintain relationships. It is I am showing signs of a disorder after severe stress from ongoing having to deal with extremely dysfunctional people closest to me (mainly only my h over intimacy).

I have an opportunity to leave next week for a couple weeks without him, just my son and I again in another state where my other two sons live. I think I don’t want him to come (he wants to come). We’ve been talking about me getting a break with the therapist who says it’s a good idea and I really want to make that happen. It is with much resistance from him because he doesn’t want it. I hope I can find the strength to get away. It will, at least, give me some peace for two weeks.

I am wishy washy and go back and forth by the hour. I can’t get away or stay and be happy.

I bet I just wrote a lot of judgmental comments here right now (sorry DBT)